Arn't I A Woman?

As the smoldering heat wave of Georgia’s summer subsides, breaking into the first crisp whisper of stark autumn winds, I am changing. While sunshine remains synonymous with happiness, brightness, and well being, as with anything in life too much exposure can lead to burned wings. I have been sent spiraling, crashing down to the harsh shiny surface of reality. I wake up to a pounding head; ominous clouds abound me. My hands are bloodied with bits of gravel and dirt stuck in tiny pockets of my skin where I braced my fall. Destruction lies around me glittering like forgotten pieces of Mylar, scattered on a sticky dance floor that once held celebration of a solstice. The corpses of my mistakes have taken form and I am forced here to face them as I slowly begin to stand.   I ask myself: why do I do things that hurt me? What leads to self-destructive behavior? If we break it down to the behavioral level, and suppose the hypothesis “destruction is a form of ...

"All my life, I've lived and worked in the big city, which now that I think of it, is kind of a problem since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it, I-I have this fear of enclosed spaces. I-I-I, everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know, I always tell myself, there's gotta be something better out there, but maybe I think too much. And I've always had these, these abandonment issues, which plagued me. And my job, don't get me started on, 'cause it really annoys me. I was not cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now. I-I-I feel physically inadequate.  It's this whole gung-ho super-organism thing that, that, that I - you know, I can't get, I try but I can't get it. What about me? I mean, I gotta believe there's someplace out there that's better than this! Otherwise, I will just curl up in a larval position and weep! The whole system makes me feel - insignificant!" I get frustrated because I f...

Z ines are a great way to allow anyone who feels d isenfranch ised to ta k e back the ir r ightful p iece of the publ ic sphere. I  found a bunch of  d ig ital fem in ist  z ines onl ine and rel ied heav ily on those to help gu ide me through  my f irst  exper ience  i n  zine making. Because th is access was really  important for me  I  wanted to make sure to put a d ig ital copy  up. Th is vers ion  is sl ightly var ied from the phys ical copy. Y ou can e-ma il me at jlordatl@gma il.com for one.  Thanks aga in  to everyone that helped-  it ain't easy!! ::\\:: Dark Corners Volume 1: Murky Waters ::\\::

aka is young jeezy a nihilist?  "today i'm gonna get over you"  A while back a friend sent me this really moving video link. The video was a 20-minute talk a comedian was giving about his life and the beginnings of his success in the industry. At one point he was offered a reoccurring role delivering the nightly comedy spot on a late night talk show. Superficially that was everything he had wanted- he couldn’t believe his luck at truly seeing some of his boy hood dreams come to fruition- and best of all it was predicated on his own hard work and talent. During this period of budding professional success, though, his personal life started to embody the antithesis of triumph. He and his wife learned that his young daughter- I think maybe 2 or 3 years old at the time- had terminal cancer.  He detailed how his shows got darker and darker with each doctor’s visit. His daughter died when he was at ...

One woman should never feel the ent ire plight of a gender, race, or class, or any other social  distinction. We look to Beyonce for answers because she surpassed the expectations of a white patriarchy. And when anyone achieves this feat, no matter what station predominates their existence we automatically look at them like a superhero. If someone can so seamlessly transcend these social barriers and distinctions we simultaneously shame ourselves for not overcoming more and hero-fy those that do. The truth is those that defy our parochial opinions on how far they deserve to go in our society- those that surprise us- do so through a random set of variables. I love Beyonce and I think we can all agree how otherworldly she appears when she transfixes our eyes on a series of bodily movements that are so flawless and poetic, so visceral and gritty- should everyone’s body be able to do this? The truth is we have to stop asking ‘why doesn’t Beyonce wear her hair m...

An oppressive , patriarchal society eagerly feasts on the violent inequality of its citizens ; indeed , its sole sustenance and nourishment is derived from it. That being said it would logically follow that this inequality need be disguised , nuanced , and complex to elude enemies and ensure max imum survival . What seems to be lac k ing in much discourse on sexism is how a patriarchal society affects men . Just li k e racism and classism , the rec ipients of inequality are not exclusively impacted. Yes , men hold the dominant positions of power in America and are the apparent beneficiaries of a sexist system. In reality the system is the only part of the mechanism that truly benefits because it perpetuates its own existence. In this patriarchal society men overwhelmingly benefit economically and socially , but on an existential level they are deprived. When men are denied access and the right to express their own feelings we strip them of ownership to t...

Remember when you were 12 and were a Mallrat and you hung out at stores like Hot Topic and Spencers? Shockingly those stores don't just fade into obscurity when you grow up. They're still there selling blacklights, vampire teeth, and fake vomit to adolescents and goth kids.                                      (Me and my friend in high school.) I only bring it up because I was unfortunately reminded of such stores when Buzzfeed posted this article today:  20 Examples That Spencers Gifts Hates Women It has a bunch of images of different shirts the retail chain is currently selling. Here are a few gems being offered (Get yr credit cards ready!): If you didn't just come back from vomiting your breakfast up in the bathroom, congratulations, you are a misogynist! The subsequent e-mail is for you as much as it is for Spencer Gifts.  I wrote this e-mail not...