Arn't I A Woman?

Often when you are at your lowest you feel surrounded by other people who have everything you want, or who are coming up while you are very down. It can feel very in your face and you wonder why everyone else is in such a good place when you aren't and it can truthfully be hard to be happy for others when you are suffering.  I’ve recently had time to reflect on the past year of my life, literally one of the worst. I keep expecting things to slowly get better but somehow the pain keeps dragging and certain people keep hurting me, either through memories or real life actions.  After tragedy, I usually try to immediately dig my way out of my pain, because it is so massive I can’t handle feeling it. But by avoiding it, I never fully process what has happened, and it simmers inside, a latent displaced anger that often doesn’t reveal itself for years after its triggering cause has occurred. I’ve been through such pain and suffering this past year, but honestly that's one o...

The last year of my life has been one of the most challenging and hardest. The last year of your twenties must be terrifying for most though, right? Even if only subconsciously, as your mind starts to prepare you for the symbolic death of your youth.  I don’t think being in your thirties is old-  “old” is a construct, anyways. And there are also numerous studies that show that our age has little to do with our happiness, so the idea of getting older as "scary" is mired more in our beliefs than in an actual relationship to reality. I think what is scariest for people as we age into adulthood is the goals we have set for ourselves to reach by certain ages; often these approaching milestones are cruel reminders of our failure to reach what we were “supposed” to, as if life exists on the same linear trajectory for each person. In America, at least, there seems to be more emphasis on the relationship between women and age; the pressure on men to get married and have children...

“Even what may seem at first sight to be an intensely negative situation--a difficult relationship, financial woes or poor health--can serve as an opportunity for the creation of positive value. A lifelong commitment to justice, for example, may arise from an early experience of having been wronged.” Ten years ago I had been dating Ryan for a month when he texted me to let me know he just didn't feel that way about me, and wanted to end things. Because he and I had been friends for awhile before, and because he was my first boyfriend, that took me awhile to get over. Even though we are great friends now again, we didn't talk for years after that.  Fast forward ten years later, to this morning. I wake up to a text from the current guy I've been dating. His name? Ryan. His text? Let’s break-up.  The absurdity theme has been relevant in my life for some time, so I am coming to accept the “hilarious yet awful” motif that is constantly being sprinkled across...