Arn't I A Woman?

  I started wearing the patch two days ago in an effort to quit smoking. Apparently, it makes you have REALLY vivid dreams, aka nightmares. It’s some lucid dreaming, inception shit. So the first night I had been an accomplice to murder and the whole dream was basically me having a panic attack until I woke up at 4:30 am, and can I tell you, I’ve never felt so happy that I didn’t kill anyone before in my life. Last night I had some weird dream where my family decided to get someone else to be me, and I slowly started to become invisible. God, that was weird. Weird dreams aside, the point is I’m waking up super early. So I naturally check the news aka refresh Buzzfeed incessantly, and there was a really interesting article today about a man who has written personal e-mails to Jay-Z for the past few years,  and the e-mails are embedded with some tracker that allows the sender to know if, when, and where an e-mail has been read. You know the rest, man notices e-mails have been opened,

I know right. It should at least be one or the other. Love to work, hate to party. Love to party, hate to work. Nope. I hate them all. Work wise I think everyone gets that. Who fucking likes to work unless you are a billionaire juggler or some really cool job that I can’t think of right now. But I also have entered into the realm of hating to party. I used to be super good at it. But now I have three drinks and I want to go pass out and watch Dawson’s Creek. There’s this great line from an MTV Movie Awards speech that Jim Carey gave once, it was when he was still marginally relevant as an actor, around the time he was calling Rene Zellweger his girlfriend, and he said, “I don’t want to be here. I want to be home eating chips.”              It was also the same speech where he pretended he was a member of Foghat …And it’s like, yeah man, me too. Me fuckin’ too. Now, I like to socialize. I am a social person to an extent, I’m not a shut in. It’s not that I’m uninterested in