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Isn't it a pity?: Why men lose in a patriarchy, too





An oppressive, patriarchal society eagerly feasts on the violent inequality of its citizens; indeed, its sole sustenance and nourishment is derived from it. That being said it would logically follow that this inequality need be disguised, nuanced, and complex to elude enemies and ensure maximum survival.

What seems to be lacking in much discourse on sexism is how a patriarchal society affects men. Just like racism and classism, the recipients of inequality are not exclusively impacted. Yes, men hold the dominant positions of power in America and are the apparent beneficiaries of a sexist system. In reality the system is the only part of the mechanism that truly benefits because it perpetuates its own existence. In this patriarchal society men overwhelmingly benefit economically and socially, but on an existential level they are deprived.

When men are denied access and the right to express their own feelings we strip them of ownership to their emotional property. And in that absence of ownership a collective anger begins to fester.

 -I want to break briefly and emphasize: I am not saying that women deny men this access but rather the system. I am also not attempting to justify or excuse the continued violence and oppression against women both in America and abroad but rather to create new strategies/paradigms to combat and alleviate these problems-

Displaced anger coupled with access to power aids in the dehumanization of women.  

There is of course not one solution. The lens of intersectionality is crucial to see the microbes moving on the threads of gender, race, class, and sex (et al.) relations.

But if we can reflect on gender identities as fluid concepts then why are we so terrified of changing them? Men should be allowed to be a little softer and women should be allowed to be a little harder. Repressing human expression is a dangerous method on both ends. 

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