Dear Devin the dude,
Here’s why I think you’re an asshole.
I went to your
show last night in Atlanta, Ga. I
was excited. I like your music a lot; I think you make great records. I was
really exited to see you perform.
I work as a waitress, which means I work late nights and
weekends. But luckily, Atlanta is a city that is notoriously late for
everything, so I got off before you had gone on. So I was like, that’s what’s
up, I’m gonna go see the Devin the Dude and smoke weed and drink gin and tonics
with my friends. It should have been a really awesome night!
what my night should have been like
When I got there I dished out the 20 dollars at the door,
which I had just earned from commodifying myself to the point of oblivion. But
if I know (think) I’m gonna see a really good show I’ll pay for it.
It’s too bad that you failed to perform until almost 2 in
the morning, after the audience had endured basically three hours of people on
the stage hyping us for Devin the Dude.
Yeah, I wanna see Devin the dude, dude, that’s why I’m here. I don’t need you to keep reminding me. I would
just like to see him now. Is this going to happen? Did I just pay to stand
around all night getting hit every time someone walked by, spilling half my
drink from the bar to my spot, trying to stand on my tiptoes to make sure I
could catch the performance? Is this gonna be like that MF Doom stunt where it
wasn’t really him performing at all, it was an imposter? But instead of it not
being you, you just pretend to have a show and then just never go on?
That’s really what it felt like.
The only saving grace was Boog Brown, who is a local female
MC who is INSANE. She is fucking amazing, and probably way more talented than
Devin the Dude. She doesn’t have the mindset of “I’m Devin the Dude I can do
whatever I want” so she shows up on time to her shows, performs, kills it, and
appreciates the fact that people who consume her art are essential to her
continuing to make it.
It’s kinda that mentality where if you haven’t made it yet,
even if you have all the talent in the world, you want to work for it. And if
you have reached a point where you have established yourself, you don’t feel
that fire as much.
So back to the point, you (Devin) stroll on the stage around
1:30 with like 40 fucking people, I have no fucking idea who they were, a)
barricading the edges of the stages hindering anyone from even seeing you, b)
who the fuck are you? Why the fuck would you need that many people with you? I
don’t even think the President has that many people around him at one time. I
just wanted to be like, Devin, do you even know these people? Or are you just
trying REALLY hard to feel important?
And don’t get me wrong here- I love assholes; I love people
that don’t give a fuck. But you’re not even doing it right!
The best part is, when you came on and finally the crowd was
like yeahhhhh Devin the Dude, like, we were still feeling it, you hadn’t
totally lost it, after two hours of watching the Coffee Brothers “perform” we
were still gonna get down (not sure if that is their name, that’s just what
someone said). But then you just walked off. Your entourage stayed, but you
walked right back off the stage. I was just looking for Ashton in the crowd at
that point.
seriously, where's ashton?
So you seriously thought you were important enough to walk
across the stage for a second so we could I guess bask in the glorious presence
that is Devin the Dude, and then disappear. Devin the Dude, you’re not the
Beatles. You continued to make us wait after that. At this point the crowd is
booing you. There is a very drunk man in an Irish t-shirt prancing around
everywhere giving high-fives. Someone is peddling bootleg Devin the Dude DVDS
for five dollars. I stopped trying to go to the bar for fear I would chose the
exact moment when you would finally come on and never make it back through the
crowd. I couldn’t smoke weed, because I was afraid if I stepped outside I’d
miss you. So I’m at a bar not drinking, at a hip hop show not high, I’ve been
at work all day and am totally exhausted.
At this point one friend just had his head in his hands, I
think my other friends had left, between us we had all gone to another bar at
least three times WHILE WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU. In the three-hour span of
waiting for you to come on (while you were probably jacking off to a picture of
yourself or something) we literally went to another bar to drink.
this is not happening
So you finally come on stage, not with a bang but a whimper
I might add, and no one gives a fuck anymore. Everyone is pissed off, because
we all just paid our fucking hard earned money doing the types of jobs you
don’t have to do because you ARE A FUCKING HIP HOP ARTIST, one of the coolest
jobs ever, while we all wait tables and sell you cars and shit and do your
taxes, I don’t know. I know that you have the luxury of being able to travel
around the country and world, performing your art, probably smoking a shit ton
of weed, and kicking it while you create awesome shit. That sounds awesome to
me. So I would like to think I’d be respectful to the people who allow me to do
that if I were in that position. The thing I guess you don’t realize is that
treating fans of your work with utter disregard for their time and money, making
them wait all night to see you hobble on the stage at 2 AM and start rapping to
what kinda sounds like a vocal track, is a little annoying.
After about three songs, I left. You didn’t even come in
with some awesome performance. It was boring. Maybe I would have liked it
better if I wasn’t in such a bad mood at that point, or maybe you’re just a
total asshole.
it must be nice, dude
Sincerely,
Jessie Feigert
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