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I hate to party and I hate to work


I know right. It should at least be one or the other. Love to work, hate to party. Love to party, hate to work. Nope. I hate them all. Work wise I think everyone gets that. Who fucking likes to work unless you are a billionaire juggler or some really cool job that I can’t think of right now. But I also have entered into the realm of hating to party. I used to be super good at it. But now I have three drinks and I want to go pass out and watch Dawson’s Creek. There’s this great line from an MTV Movie Awards speech that Jim Carey gave once, it was when he was still marginally relevant as an actor, around the time he was calling Rene Zellweger his girlfriend, and he said, “I don’t want to be here. I want to be home eating chips.”


             It was also the same speech where he pretended he was a member of Foghat

…And it’s like, yeah man, me too. Me fuckin’ too. Now, I like to socialize. I am a social person to an extent, I’m not a shut in. It’s not that I’m uninterested in partying, it’s that I’m unable too. It’s like my body just rejects partying and tells me to go home and get some sleep. Which would be totally cool, if I had like a real job and was married and stuff. But I’m not. I’m 26 and single and I wait tables. And I used to kill it. Like, kill it. I was really good at it. And now I’m not and I find myself wondering ‘well then really what do I have’? I work and I see people and I see my friends but it leaves little room for being social. I’m not social at work because I want to be, I’m social because I have to pretend I want to talk to people who want beer from me. I wish I could go frolic down the streets like I once did but I can’t. I feel like Agent Doggett from the X-files. A hack. Yeah I’m assigned to the X-files which may make me think I’m a badass, but I’m still Agent Doggett. I’m attempting to replace Fox Mulder, basically the greatest man alive. That’s not gonna happen, ever. So it’s like, partying is Agent Doggett pre-X files. There wasn’t much to it. And attempting to have a real life where I don’t need to go out and drink whiskey in caves and stuff (although that sounds awesome) is Agent Dogget replacing Mulder. So I’ll never be Mulder and I can never go back to Dogget pre X files. Soo who the hell am I now? This guy?!:


                      I don't care if you were in Terminator. You are not Fox Mulder. 
Great.

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