I have a personality disorder. I wrestle with depression pretty hardcore. I have been in therapy for a good while and I am acutely aware of my emotions, how I feel versus how a "normal" person feels. I don't know if it's genetic, environmental, or both, but probably both. This is something I have felt since I have been consciously aware of who I am. I also know that mental disorders are highly stigmatized in American society. I can't shoot the shit with mental disorders like I can race relations. There's too much that I don't know about it. All I know is my own reality. I do know that I am super emotional, and slight things affect me very heavily. I can't say more than other people because I don't know their reality. I know that I try very hard to relate to other people and understand who they are and where they are coming from. I know that I may react to things more intensely than people who don't suffer from depression or some type of mental disorder. This makes life difficult for me and creates a feeling of disconnect. I wonder why I experience life in a different manner than other people. But this is all I have and for the time being, all I can do is attempt to talk about how "crazy" I am. There's a really awesome episode of Inside the Actor's Studio with Dave Chapelle where he says "You don't call people crazy. It's dismissive." Which is like supremely true. I'm crazy in that I have unbalanced emotions, my interactions with other people are questionable, and my brain doesn't fucking produce dopamine and serotonin in regular balanced levels. That shit is real. Some peoples's brains just don't produce the correct amounts of chemicals that they need to at least not be so emotional and weird and stuff. But I'm really not crazy. real talk crazy is having no grasp on reality. I'm not crazy just because my experience differs from yours. But I do have issues with my brain, and interacting with people. That doesn't mean that my Doctor prescribes me a bunch of medication to dope me up. And that doesn't even mean that I am in some weird grey area of craziness where I am super crazy but still super functional. I suffer from a disease/disorder but I am not an anomaly. I am a normal human being that for whatever reason has long term biological and environmental issues that are both out of my control and very aware in my thoughts. The point is, many people, especially young people, and probably some of your good friends, are struggling with depression, anxiety disorders, and other mental diseases. We need to create a real dialogue about these things and attempt to understand their origins because when you really get to the core of it, a LOT more people than you think suffer from at least one of these issues. And when we tell someone they are crazy because we don't understand them, it very strictly mandates behavior. This is not an excuse to do or say whatever you want to the detriment or exploitation of others. But just like a cancer that continues to grow without treatment, mental disorders, left untreated and unnoticed by society, will only stunt the growth of its peoples who suffer directly and/or indirectly.
“Gold in its raw form appears dull and does not glitter.” Like most girls my age, I grew up on Lisa Frank; to this day I have never loved a boy as much as I loved my original Lisa Frank trapper keeper. And as a feminist I deliciously delight in non-ironically reappropriating the pink colorful glitter images Frank iconized as celebratory and powerful rather than weak and flippant. So while groggily sitting on my parent’s back deck this morning where I have been living for the past 6 months due to some of those wonderful life-likes-to-kick-you-in-the-ass-unforeseen-circumstances, I’m half enjoying my day off thanks to the long holiday weekend and half suffering through pangs of loneliness, deeply isolated from the glitzy city lights of Atlanta 30 miles away. As I scroll through my friends’ posts and pictures of their frolicking late night adventures around Dragon Con this weekend, adorned in pink wigs, high heels, outrageous costumes, and ridiculously (yet genuinely) larg
i wrote one too. crazies unite. http://wonderwonderwonderland.blogspot.com/2012/01/happy-pills.html
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