Often when you are at your lowest you feel surrounded by other people who have everything you want, or who are coming up while you are very down. It can feel very in your face and you wonder why everyone else is in such a good place when you aren't and it can truthfully be hard to be happy for others when you are suffering. I’ve recently had time to reflect on the past year of my life, literally one of the worst. I keep expecting things to slowly get better but somehow the pain keeps dragging and certain people keep hurting me, either through memories or real life actions. After tragedy, I usually try to immediately dig my way out of my pain, because it is so massive I can’t handle feeling it. But by avoiding it, I never fully process what has happened, and it simmers inside, a latent displaced anger that often doesn’t reveal itself for years after its triggering cause has occurred. I’ve been through such pain and suffering this past year, but honestly that's one of