"You have to become what you are judged as being." (Laura)
To conquer something means to rob it of its power, hence the idiom "conquer your fear"- so by becoming the judgement, we can diminish the power it holds over us. Basically look up the last battle scene of 8 Mile and you'll get it. I met Laura this year through a mutual friend and she sent me a great article called “Feminist Killjoys (And Other Willful Subjects).” This is just one of many great ideas contained within its text. I wanted to include this because after reading that line I literally threw up my hands and just shook my head in disbelief at the gravity of comprehending such a statement. Like, YES. I’m all about contradictions man, and this “life paradox” is a great example of such. I think it means so many things. It’s exposure therapy. You must conquer what you fear. For me, I am terrified of being judged and abandoned, and I’ll always have these fears until I experience them and survive them. I have to be abandoned, I have to be judged for me to diminish its terrifyingly tight grip over my throat. It chokes me like a smoke-filled room.
the ice storm. I cannot get stuck in the mediocrity of current problems however greatly I catastrophize them. I can neither let the false meaning I wrongly attached to many people and situations this year overtake me, nor can I ignore the unintended emotional and psychological consequences that arise from said attachment.
Dec 28, 2013
Top 10 Lessons I Learned in 2013: Part 2
Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?
That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.
Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention