Arn't I A Woman?: I hate to party and I hate to work



Jul 16, 2012

I hate to party and I hate to work

I know right. It should at least be one or the other. Love to work, hate to party. Love to party, hate to work. Nope. I hate them all. Work wise I think everyone gets that. Who fucking likes to work unless you are a billionaire juggler or some really cool job that I can’t think of right now. But I also have entered into the realm of hating to party. I used to be super good at it. But now I have three drinks and I want to go pass out and watch Dawson’s Creek. There’s this great line from an MTV Movie Awards speech that Jim Carey gave once, it was when he was still marginally relevant as an actor, around the time he was calling Rene Zellweger his girlfriend, and he said, “I don’t want to be here. I want to be home eating chips.”

             It was also the same speech where he pretended he was a member of Foghat

…And it’s like, yeah man, me too. Me fuckin’ too. Now, I like to socialize. I am a social person to an extent, I’m not a shut in. It’s not that I’m uninterested in partying, it’s that I’m unable too. It’s like my body just rejects partying and tells me to go home and get some sleep. Which would be totally cool, if I had like a real job and was married and stuff. But I’m not. I’m 26 and single and I wait tables. And I used to kill it. Like, kill it. I was really good at it. And now I’m not and I find myself wondering ‘well then really what do I have’? I work and I see people and I see my friends but it leaves little room for being social. I’m not social at work because I want to be, I’m social because I have to pretend I want to talk to people who want beer from me. I wish I could go frolic down the streets like I once did but I can’t. I feel like Agent Doggett from the X-files. A hack. Yeah I’m assigned to the X-files which may make me think I’m a badass, but I’m still Agent Doggett. I’m attempting to replace Fox Mulder, basically the greatest man alive. That’s not gonna happen, ever. So it’s like, partying is Agent Doggett pre-X files. There wasn’t much to it. And attempting to have a real life where I don’t need to go out and drink whiskey in caves and stuff (although that sounds awesome) is Agent Dogget replacing Mulder. So I’ll never be Mulder and I can never go back to Dogget pre X files. Soo who the hell am I now? This guy?!:

                      I don't care if you were in Terminator. You are not Fox Mulder. 


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Sojourner Truth

Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

Sojourner Truth

Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention

Akron, Ohio