Arn't I A Woman?: Confessions of a Waitress



Jun 18, 2012

Confessions of a Waitress

Waiting tables is sort of like that thing you do until you can get a real job. It’s great in a lot of ways: it can work around your schedule if you are in school or trying to be an actress or a Mariah Carey biographer or something, you can leave with cash and make pretty decent money, and you can meet a lot of cool people.

That being said, waiting tables is also one of the most grueling jobs and can sometimes make you hate people, a lot.

It’s a pretty weird concept when you think about it: you are there to serve someone else, by definition. A little dehumanizing right off the bat. Second, it puts your financial success (or failure) in the hands of random people you don’t even know.

I guess a lot of people still don’t realize that the wait staff relies (usually) entirely on their tips for income. You make $2.15 an hour and that money goes to your taxes. So your paycheck is a big fat zero. When you stiff me on a tip, it really affects me. For anyone out there who happens to be reading this and lives under a rock: always tip 20%. It’s the standard fucking rate to tip people. You’re an asshole if you tip under that. Even if the service was poor, when you go out to eat, you are entering into a contract where you and me are gonna have a relationship. I’m gonna do stuff for you and in return, you have to pay me. Let me just declare that now: that’s a server’s going rate and if you aren’t willing to pay it, regardless of the outcome of your service, don’t go out to eat. If you hire a prostitute and the sex is bad, you’d still have to pay them their going rate right? So always tip 20% please.

                                                     It's the same job, minus the sex part. 

Most of the time, when you receive poor service, there’s like a 4% chance it’s the server’s fault. A server is the middleman. There’s only so much in our power of determining the result of your visit. I can’t make the kitchen cook faster in the middle of lunch hour because you have to go to the airport. I can’t make the bartender make your margarita faster because you are an alcoholic. I can’t make sure you’re gonna leave at a reasonable time if the credit card machine goes down. All of that is completely out of my control, and you have to understand that when you go eat at a restaurant. If you don’t have a lot of time, you probably should just go to McDonalds.

                                                               Where dreams are made. 

And when a server gives bad service because of something else, chances are, they are busy as fuck. Under such a stressful environment, a lot of people in the restaurant industry try and remind themselves that it’s just drinks and food. You should do that too. If you are freaking out because your fries are cold, you have a sad life.

(That being said, some people are just bad at waiting tables and probably shouldn’t do it. You have to be a certain kind of person to handle waiting tables. But most restaurants can discern these things and hire competent servers). 

In almost no scenario is the server just sitting around with their thumbs in their ass looking around the restaurant with a vacant stare, drooling out of the side of their mouth.

                                                               Ok this is totally me at work 

If you think waiting tables is easy, you’re wrong. A lot of people presume that, and they’re big fat jerks. They act like they are better than you and it is very demeaning.
They do things like this:

1) Waive their hands across the restaurant for you to notice them when you are clearly doing something else
2)  Tell you that they need their food RIGHT NOW because of a prior engagement
3)  Continue to ask you for something every time you walk by or check on them, instead of anticipating what they might need and telling me in one fell swoop
4)  Make you stand and wait so they can finish their conversation before they will even acknowledge you so you can, you know, take their order or something crazy like that as us waiters are known to do
5) Not bother to move things out of the way when you have a billion plates of their food in your hand and are clearly immobile

Most servers are super patient; you sort of have to be. We don’t care if you take 40 minutes to order because you want to catch up with a friend. We don’t care if we got your order wrong and want it done the right way (as long as you are not a grade A jackass about it). We don’t care if you want your checks split 28 ways. We don’t care that you stay and hang out for an hour after you’ve paid. We understand and try to assure that you would like your food and drinks promptly and expect a certain level of service.

Ultimately, just be nice. Don’t assume that because I’m getting paid you can treat me however you want. And please, don’t act like you are the most important person in the building. You’re not. You probably never will be with that attitude either, jerk.


  1. It is indeed an extremely difficult job, one that I only lasted at for 2 weeks in my early days of college life (as you well know) before getting fired & reinstalled in the kitchen as a short order chef. People can be jerks...and it would seem most diners think servers are their personal slaves. Negative minimum wage ought to be banned...servers should AT LEAST get $8 an hour. The only job that pays less is being a mom....see my FB post; I love cleaning up other people's messes...SO I BECAME A MOM! But keep on trucking, girl cuz you ARE AN AWESOME SERVER!!!

  2. "Most of the time, when you receive poor service, there’s like a 4% chance it’s the server’s fault."

    While the things you listed aren't in your control in what you were saying, you are wrong with your statistic though, it's actually the other way around, here's why:

    1. WHEN do you put in my order? Do you wait or do you go put it in immediately after taking it? If you are double sat or triple sat, you can still go put in each order into the computer after taking each table’s order. By not doing that can result in a much longer wait and that would be YOUR FAULT.

    2. FORGETTING to put in an order. My husband and I have experienced this for REAL that servers ADMITTED to our faces they have FORGOTTEN TO PUT ORDERS IN. All of them were appetizers, bar drinks, and a cup of soup.

    3. Did you put in the order CORRECTLY into the computer? Have had many times servers ADMITTED to our faces they did not do that correctly. Have had wrong entrées before due to our server putting in the order wrong. Have had wrong bar drinks too due to the server putting in the order wrong.

    4. Did you FORGET ANYTHING I ORDERED such as a SIDE DISH? We have had this happen a number of times as well.

    5. Did you DROP anything I ordered? Luckily, we have not had this happen, but I have seen a server once drop some fries from a plate before and I did have a waiter spill some margarita martini when pouring into a martini glass. In other words, it is possible, not likely, but very possible.

    6. Did you remember to GET my food? We have had a server do that before. Also, we have had a number of servers forget bar drinks.

    7. Did you bring out my food obviously correctly if you bring my food out? Do you realize how many times OUR OWN SERVER brings out DUH mistakes like the side dish is wrong, the entrée is wrong, something obvious is not correct bacon that isn’t covered up isn’t extra, extra crispy when you can clearly notice that it isn’t without touching anything, etc.? Every DUH mistake you bring out is YOUR FAULT I am waiting for what I did order by you wasting my time bringing me the wrong item or wrongly prepared item or forgot something. While we all make mistakes, I would have to say a good 90% of the time, servers NEVER COMPARE THE WRITTEN ORDERS TO THE FOOD, because they are TOO LAZY and DON’T CARE!!

    If it’s another server, it still doesn’t make it the kitchen staff’s fault I have the wrong side dish for example since that is something that’s obvious. It’s either my server that didn’t put in my order correctly or this other server that didn’t compare the ticket to the food or that this other server did compare the ticket to the food, but just missed it(HIGHLY UNLIKELY, but possible).

    So QUIT LYING to the public, because what you are saying isn’t true MOST of the time. MOST of the time, your server had SOMETHING to do with HOW LONG YOU waited for your food or bar drinks. I didn’t say always, but most of the time, your server is WHY you are waiting longer in general. That is the truth, you can’t argue with facts. I KNOW, WE EXPERIENCED IT!! My husband and I have been going out to eat just about almost every weekend(2-3 times a weekend) since Nov. 2000 since we met, so we know more than you do!!

    If it took forever to get seated, it CAN be your server's fault due to that your SERVER put in the order wrong or made mistakes of their OWN that were in THEIR CONTROL like serving the completely wrong food even if they put in the order correctly to where it makes the customer's stay LONGER.

    I have been before longer at restaurants due to a server's mess up, meaning that the people waiting in the lobby for a table couldn't get seated at me and my husband's table until we were done, DUHH!!

    So YES, it CAN be your server's fault for long waits for a table.

    Continued next posts:

  3. 90% of the time it's the SERVER'S FAULT:

    1. They can put in the order wrong into the computer or if it's a written ticket they submit, they could have written something down wrong or hard to read.

    2. They could have forgotten to put in the order in the first place.

    3. Servers can also misunderstand what the customer is saying such as 2 times when I ordered 2 sides of bbq sauce and the stupid idiot servers thought I didn’t want bbq sauce on my ribs when I NEVER ONCE SAID I didn’t and I didn’t say “ON THE SIDE”, I SAID SIDES, which means extra. One of those times I said extra even.
    4. Most mistakes with food are visible:

    A. Condiments of any kind regardless of who brings out the food can be brought out by the server ahead of time.

    B. If someone orders extra crispy bacon with their pancakes, then the bacon looks limp, not stiff, and you can even see some white fat on it, guess what? MY SERVER COULD HAVE SEEN THAT TOO AND TOLD THE COOKS IT WASN'T CORRECT, TO RECOOK IT INSTEAD OF BRINGING IT TO ME WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE!

    C. Any wrong side dishes or entrees are the fault of the server if they bring out the food even if they put in the order right. You can tell the difference between a baked potato and mac n' cheese, yet, a waiter at Logan's Roadhouse was so stupid as to bring me mac n' cheese when I ordered a baked potato. I noticed it within 5 seconds of the food hitting my table. Like DUH a baked potato looks completely different from mac n' cheese.

    D. Any MISSING side dishes, appetizers, condiments, or entrees ARE the server's fault if they bring out the food as well. Have had that happen a few times or so. Our servers aren't blind, so they can tell if something is missing or not.

    E. I have seen a red steak delivered to someone before at Outback which means let's say the customer ordered their steak well done, that the server could have noticed the color difference as in your example “Steak cooked rare instead of well done ? It’s not your server’s fault, they didn’t cook it, it’s the kitchen’s fault.”

    F. If something LOOKS burnt such as a piece of bread with the food and the person didn't order it burnt, my server is at fault for serving me that.

    G. If my server forgets an item that an entree or appetizer comes with, that's their fault if they brought me my food without the item such as a side dish or ranch.

    H. I have ordered at Outback my fries "lightly cooked" "Not overdone and yellow not brown." I have had their fries before cooked the way I like them before many of times before this time I am talking about. This stupid waitress decided to blame the kitchen staff for REALLY DARK BROWN FRIES as if she was blind or something and my husband even told me he could see that they were really dark. My husband may not agree with me on every subject of course, but with that, you could EASILY tell just by LOOKING that those fries were overdone and very dark. She said she put in the order correctly. I am thinking, SO? I wish I could have said "Are you blind?" That was HER FAULT she DECIDED TO SERVE ME THOSE FRIES THAT WEREN'T CORRECT. I noticed the mistake within 3 seconds of my food being placed in front of me.

    You can tell in this picture above the bacon is very crispy just by simply LOOKING at it.

    You can tell in this picture above the bacon is NOT CRISPY, just by simple LOOKING at the bacon.

    Continued next posts:

  4. While the server didn't "COOK" the bacon, it's obvious to the *SERVER'S* EYES that one batch of bacon is crispy and the other isn't to decide to BRING the food to the customer wrong or not. It's my server's fault if they decide to bring me the bacon that's like in picture 2 if I ordered it crispy that she or he didn't tell the cooks it was wrong and get them to cook the bacon more instead of SERVING it wrong. WHY bring it out only for the food to be sent back?

    You can clearly see the fries are overdone in the picture above if the customer ordered them "NOT OVERDONE, lightly cooked."

    In this picture above, you can see the fries don't appear overdone and the bacon is NOT CRISPY. If a customer asked for their bacon to be crispy, I would REFUSE to serve it and I would have enough CARING and COMMON SENSE to get that fixed **BEFORE** I brought it to the customer only to have the customer send it back or leave me a bad tip for not caring about their food.

    My server's job isn't just to bring out what the kitchen staff gives them, it's also getting the order OBVIOUSLY correct to the table as much as possible in order to get that good tip. As someone said on a blog or forum “They just want to be tipped well and will do pretty much anything reasonable to get your money”, which that IS VERY REASONABLE to think OUR SERVERS ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THEIR TIP TO GET THINGS RIGHT TO HAVE A BETTER TIP!!

    You can notice a lot of things on her plate in the picture above like if the customer asked for no sour cream, well DUHH, it's STARING in your face. If the customer asked for a side of ranch(I would have), it's missing, DUHH!! If the customer substituted fries for rice, well DUHH, that's not on the plate.

    Get what I am saying here? MOST of the mistakes happen due to either your server if they bring out the food or another server that doesn't compare the ticket to the food(assuming the order was put in correctly by the original server of course).

    You also can notice if someone has wing sauce "On the side" vs. "On the wings" themselves. This isn't rocket science.

    Most of the things that are wrong with the food can be caught by the server if they bring out the food, even if they didn't cook it. If it's another server, they can catch obvious errors on the ticket and menu(such as menu states the item comes with bbq sauce and the ticket doesn't say "no bbq sauce") if the ticket was correctly put in by the original server that took the order. Condiments(in bottles or on the side in containers) can always be offered to be brought out ahead of time REGARDLESS of WHO brings out the food to the table.

    So most of the time when the food has something wrong with it, chances are, your server or another server could have caught the mistake before it got to you in most instances. I NEVER said ALL, but in most cases, it can be caught BEFORE bringing out the food(unless another server brings out the food with the ticket wrong), because then the original server that took the order is at fault for putting the order in incorrectly into the computer.

    There are few rare cases where the food being wrong is the kitchen staff's fault such as raw food(such as raw chicken), slightly undercooked or overcooked food that you'd have to CUT into to know if it was under or overcooked, or anything the server cannot see with their eyes unless they were to TOUCH the food. Things such as a pickle under a bun the server can't notice unless they lift the bun, so unless they put the order in wrong, they wouldn't be at fault, but in general most food mistakes can be caught BEFORE bringing the food to the table.

    Continued next posts:

  5. What I am saying is, MOST mistakes ARE PREVENTABLE by the SERVER if they bring your order to you that they can NOTICE things wrong by comparing those written orders to the plates of food.

    Once a waiter at Chili's said "The kitchen forgot" when I had ordered 2 sides of mayo and 1 side of mustard. The thing is, my waiter brought out the food, so NO, HE HE HE HE HE FORGOT, the kitchen staff didn't step out the kitchen to bring me my food and forget obvious missing containers from my plate that aren't covered up by anything. MY WAITER DID THOUGH!!

    You walk in one room in your house with a plate of food, but forget the ranch. Even if your mom or significant other plated your food, which you even told her you wanted a side of ranch for your fries, but you bring it to another room. HOW IS THAT THEIR FAULT? It's YOUR FAULT YOU LEFT THE ROOM WITHOUT THE RANCH AND DIDN'T NOTICE IT SINCE IT'S SOMETHING OBVIOUS YOU DON'T HAVE TO *TOUCH* TO NOTICE THE MISTAKE!!

    Even if he didn't bring out the food, that waiter could have prevented that type of thing from being forgotten since it needs no cooking to bring it out ahead of time. It is always the person bringing out the food that is at fault for any type of mistake that you don't have to TOUCH the food to notice the mistake, unless of course, the order was put in wrong by the original server that took the order with another server bringing out the food. Of course unless, the kitchen goofs up, making it correctly even if the ticket is wrong, but that's highly unlikely scenario.

    I cannot believe you honestly think that the server is not at fault for most food mistakes. WE LIVED THROUGH THE "DUH" MISTAKES, SO WE CAN SEE WITH OUR EYES WHO WAS AT FAULT!!

    We had a waiter once admitted he grabbed the wrong entrée from the kitchen. It was just my husband and I. This waiter not only admitted he didn't compare the WRITTEN ORDER with the entrées he was bringing out, but also we saw he had other entrées for another table that he didn't ONCE get his pad of paper out to see WHICH ENTRÉE WENT WITH WHICH TABLE!! So 2 times he could have caught his mistake, but didn't *****TRY HIS BEST AS HE SHOULD HAVE, because that's HIS JOB**!!

    He admitted that he grabbed the wrong entrée from the kitchen. He brought my husband fried shrimp w/fries when he ordered crawfish au gratin w/baked potato. Those items look NOTHING A LIKE, but yet THAT WAITER WAS TOO LAZY AND UNCARING TO VERIFY *WHAT* HE WAS BRINGING US!! We still left him 17% BTW, just to let you know since he profusely apologized TWICE and FIXED THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY just about. We honestly shouldn’t have though, because that really didn't make him LEARN anything. If I had to do it all over again, I would have tipped 13%. It's because since that happened(a number of years ago, maybe like 4), me and my husband have had some terrible experiences. We have had good ones too of course, but the servers need to LEARN that they can't just hand you ANYTHING like McDonald's cashiers do. They are there to EARN a tip, NOT to just hand you anything.

    It's very rare that it's not the server's fault. Things like if I order no pickles if you took my order and brought out my food, which there are some pickles under a bun that you'd have to lift it to see it, unless you admitted putting in the order wrong, I will assume it's the kitchen staff that is at fault and probably is.

    Things like raw chicken tenders aren't the fault of the server unless they are pink or something.

    A slightly over or undercooked steak if the order was put in correctly is not the server's fault.

    Also, some people assume things as well, that end up being wrong.

    If another server brings out a wrong side dish or if they are missing items other than condiments, no it's not the server's fault if they put in the order correctly, but it still counts against the tip. It's part of the service.

    Continued next posts:

  6. Why also is it when you say "no pickles" or "ONLY lettuce and onions", they still have a pickle on the plate? WHY you servers can't understand that if the customer states they don't want pickles, that means on the plate, because otherwise, they'd specifically state they would have wanted it "ON THE SIDE." Think about it. WHY do I keep having servers bring me some pickles on the plate when I ordered no pickles? NO SERVERS ARE BLIND OR ILLITERATE that they cannot determine any of the obvious errors that don't have to be touched to notice the mistakes or mistake.


    Quit acting like customers are stupid. Most of the time you get poor service, it's truly because of your server. YOU KNOW THAT IS GOD'S TRUTH, JUST ADMIT IT!!

  7. "always tip 20%. It’s the standard fucking rate to tip people. You’re an asshole if you tip under that"

    I treat servers and bartenders the *EXACT* way they treat me in the tip. That means, if you forgot my shit, took 10 minutes to get my refills, etc., you shouldn't deserve 20%!! I mean if it's super duper busy and it takes that long, fine, but if it's slow and I am waiting 10 minutes for a freakin refill, there's obviously something wrong with that.

    My husband and I have tipped as high as 25%-30% and more before for good service even.

    It depends on the service. Your server or another server can control most of the issues that get to your table wrong in general. I didn't say all, but most can be noticed just by simply LOOKING at what you are handing over.

    Overcharges are always 100% your server's fault unless your server doesn't hand you your check. We have had a number of those over the years as well, including wrong prices, which you can see before us, making it your fault that you didn't get it fixed from the manager *BEFORE* you handed us our check.

    No one is an asshole that tips under 20% if the service is not-so-great, it's DESERVED whatever amount you EARNED. You get what you give in ANY SITUATION IN LIFE!! I am not talking about cheapskates, I am talking about FAIR customers. We are fair customers.

    "remind themselves that it’s just drinks and food. You should do that too."

    Then you should do the same HYPOCRITE "It's just TIPS" "It's just a stiff."

    If your tip is important to you, so is our food and drinks important to us.

    Your money isn't the only thing that matters. You should be caring about us, in order for us to care about your money at the end. That way, it's an EVEN EXCHANGE.

    "Even if the service was poor, when you go out to eat, you are entering into a contract where you and me are gonna have a relationship. I’m gonna do stuff for you and in return, you have to pay me."

    NOT if you treated me like DIRT, I don't have to tip you. You can go fuck yourself!! I tip people that ********CARE********** about my needs and wants. If you fuck me over, I fuck you over in the tip, that's how it goes. Don't act like you are MS. ENTITLED to a tip if you sucked.

    Just like customers that don't tip because they are cheap aren't entitled to good service, same difference.

    We are entitled to good service, then in return you get your good tip. If you give us bad service, you should get a bad tip or even stiffed if it's really horrible.

    "that’s a server’s going rate and if you aren’t willing to pay it, regardless of the outcome of your service, don’t go out to eat."

    Don't be so ENTITLED! Just because you hand us a plate of food and get us refills doesn't mean you deserve A TIP. If you bring out the wrong food to us 3 times, take 20 minutes to get us refills, overcharge us, etc., sorry, but you ain't getting SQUAT for a tip. You have RUINED our outing, so you get a RUINED TIP. AN EYE FOR AN EYE, that's how LIFE IS FAIR WHEN IT COMES TO TIPPING!! You aren't "ENTITLED" to a tip, it's ***************EARNED************!!

    If you treat me like dog shit, you will get a dog shit tip of NOTHINGNESS.

    "If you hire a prostitute and the sex is bad, you’d still have to pay them their going rate right?"

    Prostitutes don't get tipped that I know of. Tipping is an OPTIONAL amount of money. When you hire a prostitute that's just like hiring a mechanic to fix your car, you have no choice to pay. Tipping is a *CHOICE*(not counting if you are in a large party with auto grat of course).

    Continued next posts:

  8. "I can’t make the bartender make your margarita faster because you are an alcoholic."

    No, but you can remind the bartender of my order. Once, my drink was picked up by another server and my server never asked about it. I waited LITERALLY A HALF AN HOUR FOR A FUCKING MARGARITA. It was my server's fault for not checking up of WHERE my drink was. What happened was, was that they were out of the Presidente Shaker's at Chili's, so they put my drink in another glass. My server didn't go to find out where it was until 15 minutes later because she came to ask if I had received it and then I had to wait for it to come to me after that.

    See how the *SERVER* can be at fault for how long you wait for your bar drink? I agree as you said not because someone is an alcoholic, but it may be because the ticket got lost so the bartender doesn't know about it or some other server served it to someone else or even you forgot to put in the order for it even.

  9. My point of my last post was that, you as the server still have 100% RESPONSIBILITY ON *********CHECKING************* ON WHERE FOOD AND BAR DRINKS ARE.

  10. ") Continue to ask you for something every time you walk by or check on them, instead of anticipating what they might need and telling me in one fell swoop"

    Do you realize why some customers do this though?


    There are SOO MANY TIMES when I wanted to ask for more, but the servers RUSHED OFF OR JUST ASK ONE PERSON AT THE TABLE, NOT ALL.

    You know you can suggest things as well, not just the customers too.

    A good way that the customers may ask for many things at once is if you have your pad and pen ready to write. Most people aren't going to want to give you a list of 3 or more things that you might forget something or more than one thing even.

    I have a lot of times servers forget refills and they just NEVER WRITE THEM DOWN.

    I have asked for a 1. dessert, 2. a box, 3. some tops for the condiment containers, 4. 2 containers for the condiments, 5. a bag, 6. the check, 7. to-go coke. She forgot the check due that I even WARNED HER saying "I have a bunch of stuff to ask for" and that should have been her CUE to take her pad and pen out, but it wasn't. She didn't write ANY of that down. She could have done everything except for the dessert in one trip even with the containers inside the box which would have been put inside the bag, the check in her apron pocket, one hand would have had the to-go coke, the other the bag that had the box and containers inside it.

    Another time I asked for 1. a box, 2. a bag, 3. the check, 4. a to-go coke, our waitress forgets the bag.

    Another time I asked for 1. extra napkins, 2. more bread, and 3. a refill on my soft drink, he forgets the extra napkins.

    Another time, I asked for 1. a box, 2. the check, 3. a bag, 4. tops for the containers for the condiments, she forgets the bag.

    Another time, I asked for 1. a box, 2. the check, 3. a bag, 4. containers for condiments, she forgets everything except for the containers.

    Out of all of these times with different servers, NONE of these servers wrote down ANY of this.

    Now maybe you realize WHY people do this? They aren't going to assume you are going to remember 10 things at once, most people can't. If you have a party of 6, I am only one person and I can ask you for 2-3 things at once even, that means if everybody at my table asks for stuff, you can be taking in a request of 10-15 things even at once if you *CHOSE* to GET YOUR PAD AND PEN OUT they might just ask for everything at once. There have been times when I have waited to ask, because the servers that I just made examples of that can't handle even 2 or 3 things without forgetting something, because they weren't writing it down.

    You can also suggest things, I REALLY suggest that as well. Sometimes we forget, it's not intentional just like you can forget. The only difference with us is we don't have to write it down, because we are paying YOU, you aren't paying us to do the work.

    Customers aren't doing this on purpose. I feel servers are being TOO LAZY to WRITE THINGS DOWN and *THAT* is what really causes this issue more than anything and that you can suggest something such as if a person orders a burger or sandwich with fries, you can ask if they would like any condiments with those items such as ketchup, ranch, mayo, or mustard. Put some suggestions in their head and I BET you that they will say "YES" to one of them.

    It's not the customer's fault the server isn't writing things down. Customers at times even ASK to write things down and the servers REFUSE. Talk about stupid and lazy, then they end up forgetting creating more work and a bad tip, HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE, YOU KNOW?

    You should be writing down I want a box, I want a bag, I want a container for my ranch, etc. You should be WRITING DOWN those things. This way, the customer will be more comfortable asking you a bunch of things at once.


Older Posts

Sojourner Truth

Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

Sojourner Truth

Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention

Akron, Ohio